The following are common lies that we hear from clients. Please don't say any of these thing when we go to fix your computer! 😀
1). "I've restarted my computer."
We hear this constantly. The first thing we typically ask when someone calls in for help is "have you restarted your computer lately"? The caller always answers yes, but we usually know they haven’t, because the majority of minor tech support issues are resolved with a restart. Rebooting your computer clears out all the minor software hiccups that occur as your computer processes all those millions of lines of code that make it run.
2). "Everything is plugged in."
You might be positive you’ve plugged everything in and are certain there is some other reason you don’t have internet, or your keyboard isn’t working, or your printer isn’t printing. You are wrong. It’s okay. It happens to everyone - even us. Just answer our questions honestly.
Just tell us you have no idea if everything is plugged in. This is especially important if you do not know what an Ethernet cable, USB cable, or power cable are.
3). "I have no idea how I got that ransomware / virus / malware on my computer."
How do you get malware? Well, you go to sites you shouldn’t go to and click on links you shouldn’t click on and download apps you shouldn’t download. Sometimes you hit an OK button you have no business clicking.
It’s very easy to avoid getting malware in most cases. If a Windows looking OK button appears on your computer, don’t click it. If you’re on a free porn site and see a neat ad, if the site promises super expensive software for free, or if it all seems to good to be true, don’t click it. But people click all the time...it's like dangling candy in front of a toddler.
4). "My teenage son has been using my computer."
This is more common than you think. When someone says that, we know where it’s headed. Although, it doesn’t necessarily mean a computer is infected with malware, ransomware, or viruses.
It’s just something people say as they deliver a computer - as if to prep the tech support agent for all the porn they might come across in the course of their repair. But any techie is accustomed to finding porn on a computer.
5). "There's sticky stuff on my computer? I have no idea why. Oh, there's no way it is alcohol."
Do you know how your computer got covered in apple schnapps? You were making an appletini. You drank that appletini. You made another appletini. You drank that appletini. You made another appletini. You spilled that appletini.
We get it, those Zoom meetings from home make us want to drink too! But we can guarantee, as soon as we open the machine -maybe even beforehand - we know what is wrong. It doesn’t matter who spilled it or if you were present at the time, the liquid residue/corrosion voids your warranty and lying about it is just going to waste everyone’s time.
6). "It must have come broken."
Tech agents are not idiots, so trying to con us into giving you a free repair is usually not going to work. If we hear "I opened the box and it was already broken," it's an immediate red flag. We’ll notice that the keys are shiny from days of use, or the scuff on the side that only comes from the laptop getting tossed in a bag.
We love helping our customers. But if we hear these any of these six things, there is an immediate damper put in our day. So please, please, please - refrain from saying them!